I would like to give my support, from Europe, to all the students who have signed this pledge. It's the first time I saw a pledge to chastity this beautifully written. Signing it isn't just about promising not to have sex, it's about choosing a way of life that will make this whole planet more beautiful, just by existing. I myself am a 24 year old virgin by choice. I am in a relationship and my husband to be was so honored and proud when he heard my motives for staying virgin that he made me a promise as well: he would always respect me for waiting, he would never pressure me into giving more then I would like to give, and because he is my partner now, he will consciously wait with me until the day we say our vows to celebrate our love for each other physically. For those who sign this pledge very young, there will come a time, around 13 to 16 years old when you start to reject parts of the old beliefs you have. You are turning into an adult, you see things that you didn't see before. When you see one fault in your beliefs, or one thing that doesn't seem to go with what you feel inside, you will be tempted to throw everything overboard. Just wait a little while before deciding anything. At a certain moment you feel you have found your own set of modern values, and most of the time, then you will want to make the same pledge. Take your time, for love, for yourself. God Bless, Faerieeva Red Rose by Mallory Ok, this is a good way to think about sexual purity. As a girl, imagine yourself as a red rose. Every time you engage in sex outside of marriage, you lose a petal. And when you get married, you give your rose to your husband. If you have had premarital sex, you will be missing petals, and you certainly don't want to give him a stem. You want to give him a beautiful, fresh rose, right? Kim Toronto, Canada I am a 27 year old virgin from Toronto. I have been through a lot to be here as a virgin at this age. I have had to stop and think on more than one occasion. But I am proof against the ridiculous statement that " we need sex ". No what we need is love, to be hugged, to be truly cared for, to be respected, and to cherish our temple which is our body and is connected directly to our soul. I will wait as long as I have to to find true love. It was worth knowing how many guys I said no to wanted only one thing, and the ones that stay really care. So take it from me, all you teenagers, it is sooooo worth it to stay out of someone's bed until it's right, until someone will love you enough to make a commitment to you for life, before unzipping his pants. If I could and still can do it, so can you. Crystal Michelle Bigelow, ARK. Hey, My name is Crystal Michelle. I decided to wait for Sex among other things a while back. I have pledged to God that I would not even kiss until the pastor says "and NOW you may kiss your bride." I just feel that will be the most magical moment in my life. I know that others may not be capable of such temptation. But I know if a guy would wait for my first kiss... He must be one world of a guy! Everyone says I must be crazy and that is not possible. "We can do ALL things In Christ who strengthens us!" I know it is hard. OH DO I?!!!! Because you naturally just want that closeness. But commentment = intimacy :-) NO OTHER WAY! Some people have been upset with me for choosing to wait and give my virginity over to the man I love. They tell me, "what if he is a horrible kisser? What if he is aweful in bed?" My reply, "How will I know the difference? I do NOT want to be compared to." If you love someone... You should NOT judge them. One thing that is something we should all think is: "am I going to be able to marry him/her? Is he/she someone that I would consider marrying?" IF NOT leave him/her alone! Stop playing the "dating game". When you start to "lust" after someone, say, "Now what would he/she look like in 50 years?" Outer appearances don't matter as much as inner beauty. When we start looking at the opposite sex for "what can they give me?" we are wrong! We are heading for the wrong direction! STOP AND TURN around! We should look at the opposite sex as... Brothers and sisters in the Lord until marriage. The problem in some/MOST dating relationships is that the people think they OWN the other. They do NOT own the person until Marriage. I have some quick replies for sex... "Real men are sexually active." (So is my REAL dog.). "If you loved me, You'd let me." (If you loved me, you wouldn't ask.) "But I want to." (But I don't!) "Everybody's doing it." (Not true. I'm somebody, and I'm not doing it!) "Have you ever done it?" (Have you ever made the wonderful discovery of knowing Jesus Christ?") "Don't you love me?" ( Yeah, But I love God more.) "I won't get you pregnant." (That's right, because you aren't going to touch me.) "If you won't let me, I'll find someone who will." (It was nice knowing you.) "But you owe me!" (Okay, I'll get you a key chain or something) Quote: I met him; I like him. I liked him, I loved him. I loved him; I let him. I let him; I lost him. -Ann Landers, Please Come check out my club http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/Godsvirgins My screen name is life4him4ever. God lives and loves. By Byron Turner Dunbar Middle School Fort Worth, Texas My name is Byron Turner, and I attend the M. L. K. Recreation Center. I am 14 years old, and I strongly believe that mothers should be in attendance with their kids. I believe that mothers should be involved in their child's lives whether they want to or not because they were the ones who brought them into this world. The effects of them not being there in their child's life would be very hard on the child. He or she will not be able to grow up in a two-parent household. Statistics and studies show that children who don't have both parents in their lives usually grow up to become criminals because they don't have a role model in their lives to show them the correct way to grow up. (Well, not the correct influence.) They aren't usually very active or make good grades in school because they don't have 2 parents that they can turn to when they are in trouble or have a problem with drugs. To teach them manners, how to welcome people and let them know what your name is. How to be responsible and the things they need to be taught to show their kids love and respect. To tell them about the diseases that they can catch and tell them about the big responsibility of choices they would have to make. They would have to get a job, and their parent may kick them out of the house. They would probably have nobody to babysit their kids. If the mother is using drugs, the baby could have a birth defect. The baby could have Sickle Cell. The mother would probably put the baby up for adoption. The mother would have to drop out of school, and the mother would not be able to get her degree, or she would leave the baby with her mother. When you are a mother, you do not get time with friends like you used to do, and you will have to buy food for the baby, and your child would feel funny without a father figure. Should Teens Remain Sexually Pure? By Melissa Crosby Eagle Christian High School Did you know that in America, by their 15th birthday, 18 percent of girls and 27 percent of boys have had sexual intercourse, and by their 17th birthday, 52 percent of girls and 58 percent of boys have had sexual intercourse? (1) Did you know that by age 18, 43 percent of churched youth have engaged in sexual intercourse, and another 18 percent have fondled breasts or genitals? (2) Teens are under constant pressure from today's society to be sexually active. We see sexuality and promiscuity encouraged in virtually all aspects of contemporary culture. The general message we see promoted on television and in the music we listen to, is that casual sex without long-term commitments is fun, freeing, and satisfying, and that anyone who does not express their sexuality freely must be repressed, sick, or prudish. The media has left out an important message, however, about casual sexual activity and promiscuity among youths. The media, which is so eager to educate America's youth about sex, has not even attempted to educate them of the risks they run every time they engage in premarital sex. First, there is the large, ever-present risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (or STD's) such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, AIDS, and many more. Approximately 12 million new cases of STD's, 3 million of them among teenagers, occur annually in the USA. (3) Medical studies have also shown that, compared to older women, female adolescents and young women are more susceptible to cervical infections such as gonorrhea and chlamydial infection, because the cervix of female adolescents and young women is especially sensitive to certain sexually transmitted organisms3. That puts the youth at an even greater risk of contracting STD's. Maybe that is why 50% of the cases of chlamydia reported by the CDC are in teenagers, (4) and in some studies, up to 30-40% of sexually active adolescent females studied have been infected3. One of the ways teenagers try to prevent this is by using condoms. First, I am sure that most youths are not aware of the fact that condoms have a 26% breakage or slippage rate. (5) But in addition to that, the natural pores in the rubber's surface are not small enough to prevent viruses from penetrating, although they may give some protection from STD's caused by bacteria which are much larger than viruses. That means that condoms give very little protection from STD's caused by viruses, such as the AIDS virus. Another of the risks teens run every time they engage in sexual activities, is the risk of getting pregnant, which opens up a whole new world of difficulties and hard choices. Each year in the U.S., more than one million teenagers become pregnant. (6) One common way teenagers try to prevent this from happening is by using condoms which, as we already know, have a 26% rate of breakage and slippage. In fact, studies have shown that 50% of women who have abortions were using condoms or other forms of birth control. (7) Another popular way teens try to keep from becoming pregnant is by using birth control pills. The failure rate for these are 1-13%, but there are many serious health risks that come with the use of these pills. These include abnormal blood clotting and heart attacks, cervical and breast cancer, gallbladder disease, ovarian cysts, and hemorrhaging. Side effects include headaches, dizziness, acne, weight gain, nausea, anxiety, nervousness, menstrual irregularities, vaginal infections, hair loss, and depression. (8) Many teens who are sexually active are merely looking for love, acceptance, and psychological security that they are not receiving in the home. Despite what our society is constantly portraying to today's youth, premarital sex and promiscuity will not help one's emotional stability. Rather, studies have shown that sexually active teenagers are more likely to be prone to alcohol abuse and illegal drugs, and are more likely to have trouble in school, and sexually active girls are more likely to be depressed, have low self esteem, feel lonely, or attempt suicide. (9) Last, but certainly not least, premarital sex and promiscuity are sins. 1Thessalonisns 4:3-4 says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable". 1Corinthians 4:8 says to "flee from sexual immorality" because our bodies are temples of the living God, and Ephesians 5:3 says that among us "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity". God did not set these rules for us to spoil our fun. He wanted sex to be the best, most enjoyable, and most satisfying experience for us that it could be. Going against these rules by allowing ourselves to become sexually impure, does nothing but plant fear, suspicion, hurt, and cause physical pain and illness. That is why I think teens should remain sexually pure until marriage. 2. Josh McDowell's "Why Wait?" study in the late 1980s on teen sexual attitudes and behavior in the evangelical church. 3. "The Hidden Epidemic - Confronting Sexually Transmitted Disease", 1997 (National Academy Press, Washington, D.C. :39) 4. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 1996" (CDC Infectious Disease List of 1995, 45 :883-4). 5. Robert Knight, "Fact Sheet on Condom Effectiveness", The Heritage Foundation, Washington, D.C., 11/11/91. 6. Henshaw, S.K., research note in forthcoming issue of Family Planning Perspectives. 7. James Trussell, David Lee Warner, and Robert A Hatcher, "Condom Slippage and Breakage Rates", Family Planning Perspectives, 1~2/92, pp. 20~23. 8. WWW.epigee.com- Christian non-profit organization in Los Angeles, California. 9. Student Leadership Journal- February 1991 issue; researchers at Indiana University. Demi Bardsley Covenant Christian School Headmaster: Ken Ingraham 12 years old 6th grade The following was published in the CCS school newspaper 5/98:
Personally, my first kiss will be at the altar, and that is what will make it so special to me. Your affection should be saved for your marriage, and not before. 1 Thessalonians 4:4-8 tells us to keep ourselves ^Óholy and honorable,^Ô because we are temples of the Holy Spirit. Many may wonder why I have concerns about this subject at my age. I often like to read young adult novels which mention how in former generations, young men and women courted, and sometimes marriages were even arranged by parents, and it makes me wonder why such a pure method of dating has faded from our generation today. Courting is a method of dating anchored in prayer. After talking with God first, I will decide someday whether or not it might be God^Òs will for a certain man to be my husband or not. Afterward, I will refer this person to my father after talking to my father about my decision and checking out his view on the situation. We will talk together and he will tell the guy how I feel, and if I have decided to stay just friends, my dad will have a talk with him and tell him my feelings. This could save a lot of trouble and hurt between two people by substituting a couple getting into a relationship, and then breaking up. If you just go out with guys whenever you feel like it, and throw your emotions away, you may develop memories of past affections and hurt from former relationships which could possibly end up causing those memories to compete with your emotions toward your husband. The enemy can use those thoughts from your former relationships to possibly cause conflict in your marriage. (Comparisons to past "boyfriends" etc. ... ) If you stay pure in your courting experiences, and you stay away from kissing etc. , you will have time to pray together in your times of struggle and you will keep Christ as the center and the foundation of your relationship. When you are tempted, you will be able to run to God for help. In the movie "The Preacher's Wife", Whitney Houston (Julia) asks Dudley, the angel, what to do when the flame between two people dies in a marriage, and he answers by telling her that the solution is to just "not let it". I think he was absolutely right. And a way to keep that flame from burning out (in my opinion) is to stay pure before marriage. However, God does not give up on anyone; he provides grace and a new start for those who will repent and ask Him for it. -Demi Bardsley
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