SELF-CONTROL AND ABSTINENCE FOR MARRIAGE

What does your Creator have to say about sexual abstinence until marriage?

1 Thes. 4:3:	"For this is the will of Yahweh, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality (fornication); ..."

Rom. 12:1-2 (KJV):	"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of Yahweh, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto Yahweh, which is your reasonable service."

Rom. 13:13:	"Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, nor in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy."

1 Cor. 5:11:	"But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person ... not even to eat with such a one."

1 Cor. 6:9-10:	"Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of Yahweh? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, ... shall inherit the kingdom of Yahweh."

1 Cor. 6:19-20:	"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from Yahweh, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify Yahweh in your body."

2 Cor. 12:21:	"I am afraid that when I come again my God may humiliate me before you, and I may mourn over many of those who have sinned in the past and have not repented of the impurity, immorality and sensuality which they have practiced."

Gal. 5:19-21:	"Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, ... and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of Yahweh."

Eph. 5:5:	"For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Messiah and Yahweh."


Phil. 2:3-4:	"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

1 Tim. 1:9-10:	"Realizing the fact that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for ... immoral men and homosexuals ... and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching."

2 Tim. 2:22:	"Flee youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."

1 Pet. 2:11:	"Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul."

Acts 15:28-29:	"For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden than these essentials: that you abstain from things sacrificed from idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well. Farewell."

Rev. 21:8:	"But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

Rev. 22:15:	"Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying.

All quotes are from the New American Standard Version except for Romans 12:1-2. His name, Yahweh, American Heritage Dictionary (and see also "tetragrammaton") has been restored in lieu of the title, God.

Why would He give these commandments about sexual abstinence until marriage?

One answer: We were all designed so that our sex drive, which is a very strong drive, begins when we are approximately twelve, thirteen or fourteen. Yet, we were also designed so that we cannot marry and legally exercise our sex drive until years later, maybe even when in our twenties, when we become economically and emotionally able to be responsible for a family. What happened? Did the Master Designer make a big mistake? If not, what did He have in mind?

Why would He design STD's?

Should not strong character be an ultimate goal of parents for our children? Do we, as parents, design checks and balances for our children to motivate their proper choices, which, in turn, produce their strong character? For example, we want them to learn obedience and caution. So, we tell them (a commandment?) not to play in the street. Stay in the yard. And, we design appropriate, unpleasant consequences if they violate our commandment. Why? Because we do not love or care for them? Or, because we do indeed love and care for them?

What does sexual abstinence until marriage have to do with character building?

If we can learn to control our sex drive–a most basic and early drive, then do we not learn self-control? And, if we develop the character trait of self-control in the most basic of drives, do we then have the foundation for self-control in drugs, alcohol, anger, abusiveness, eating,... etc...?

Why is He interested in your character?

If a young man has learned self-control from the young ladies around him, who use their talents of purity, grace, beauty and charm to motivate him to develop gallantry (courtesy, honesty and respect) toward women, will he then be able throughout life to say "No" to that flirt who comes across his path from time to time? Will he show respect, kindness and honesty toward his wife and family? Will he exhibit gallantry toward women?

If a young man uses his talents to plant high expectations and self-respect in the young women who come across his path, will these young ladies in turn make the best of mothers, wives, and cornerstones in their communities? And, the character traits they learn from him will amply enable them to say "No" to those "handsome flirts" who tempt them to accept anything less than purity for themselves, their families, friends and communities.

Yes, we can use our talents to help others develop strong character for life if we ourselves have developed strong, upright character, especially during our teenage years as we exercise self-control and remain pure for our wedding, as represented by the white wedding gown. Yes, our Creator is very interested in our character. He wants us to set high standards of strength for those around us so that our communities, states and nation will, in turn, be strong, firmly established, honest, respectful, kind and pure.

How can you receive His righteous character, a character which enables you to always make the right choices for purity and enjoy the resultant benefits?

We harvest that which has been planted. Farmers of our generation use, sow and harvest seed which was passed to them via their forefathers. We likewise have that which our parents have passed to us–good character or poor character, self-control or lack of self-control. Thankfully, many of us have received excellent character traits from our parents. But, if some of us have not received the "seed" of self- control and good character from our parents, what can we do? We can "find a new father" . Impossible? No. We can be born again of The Almighty Himself. We then take on His character with all of its resultant self-control, benefits, and great responsibility. You will be amazed when the "sperm" of His Spirit connects with the "ovum/egg" of your spirit and you become a "new person" with His character. How? Read about it in your Bible:

John 1:12: But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of Yahweh, even to those who believe in His name.

Romans 3:23: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of Yahweh.

Romans 6:23: For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of Yahweh is eternal life in Messiah Yahshua our Lord.

John 3:16: For Yahweh so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Romans 10:9-10: that if you confess with your mouth Yahshua as Lord, and believe in your heart that Yahweh raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

And, what will be one of the first signs from your Creator-Redeemer that you are now His child? He will probably ask you to honor your earthly father and mother even more. And one way, in particular, for you to do this is to ask them to approve, or reject, that special person you think you would like to marry. If you do, this is truly a sign (Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16) that you are indeed His child with His character. And, when you plant seeds of honor in your parents by committing your future spouse to them for approval or rejection, might you expect to reap or harvest honor back from them?
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